I Do Thank You: Tips for Wedding Thank-You

Posted in Blog, Wedding Notes

It’s the digital age and of course everyone would love to send their wedding thank-you notes via internet, it’s still considered taboo. Your gratitude needs to be expressed by hand and it’s not as daunting as it sounds with a little planning and organization. Here’s a few tips for making the job enjoyable.

Traditional etiquette dictates that your engagement, shower and wedding gift  Thank-you notes should be hand-written on personalized stationery and signed by one person. The note should be personalized with the name or monogram of the person signing the note. These days some couples opt for notes that are personalized with both initials so either person can sign the wedding-related gift thank-you note.

Again, traditionally, the betrothed should use their single last name when writing thank-you notes before the wedding ceremony, and the married name or monogram should be used after the wedding.

As soon as your gifts begin to arrive, take a few moments before going to bed to write out your thank-you notes. Although etiquette reminds us that engagement parties, bridal showers and other pre-wedding events should get a thank-you response from you within two weeks of receiving it, if you keep that number in your head you may fall behind. Try to shoot for one week’s time. Of course after the wedding, you have up to 3 months to send your thank-you notes out – again we suggest you do a little bit each day.

Make sure you have an ample supply of personalized stationery and a pen that feels good when holding it or writing with it. If you set your scene with your beautiful stationery and your favorite pens at the table or desk in which you are working, then it will be a joyful time spent in connecting with your good friends and loved ones.

Remember that each gift requires its own thank-you note, even if you receive a shower gift and a wedding gift from the same person. Similarly, each person who contributed to a group gift should be sent a thank-you note.

If you have a spreadsheet to track your wedding invitations and replies, add a few columns to the document to track gifts received and thank-you notes written.

If you split the task with your betrothed, you can each send to your own respective family, friends, and coworkers. If it’s after the wedding you can make an evening of it and have some reminiscing time of your wedding and the people you are writing to.

A hand written note should be sent to the following people:

  • Wedding guests who brought or sent gifts
  • Wedding party {each bridesmaid and groomsman}
  • People who helped out with the ceremony {officiant, readers, ushers}
  • People who helped in some other way {drove people from the airport, made food, helped decorate}
  • Hosts of showers and luncheons

For tips on what to say and how to structure the message, see Gratitude 101: How to Write a Thank-You Note. Notes should be conversational as if you were thanking that person face to face. People respond to creative and whimsical thank-you notes, meaning you don’t have to start them all off with, “Thank you for the…”

The focus of the note is on the guest, this is about them and their generosity. Never mention if you had to return something of it was damaged, this is a positive note filled with gratitude.

The closing of your note should reflect your relationship with the giver. “Love” is appropriate for family and close friends, whereas “sincerely” may be the best option when writing to your boss or co-worker, or to friends of your parents.

The entire intention of a wedding gift thank-you note is to express your gratitude to the people who went out of their way to give you something for you and your wedding. By remembering the kind gesture and thinking of the expression on their faces when they get your handwritten note, the whole process will be enjoyable and much more meaningful.

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